There's too many things I haven't done yet.
Too many sunsets I haven't seen.
You can waste the day wishing it'd slow down.
You would've thought by now,
I'd have learned something.
I made up my mind when I was a young girl,
I've been given this one world.
I won't worry it away.
But now and again I lose sight of the good life,
I get stuck in a low light.
But then love comes in.
Many The Miles - Sara Bareilles
South African Sunsets
You Make It Real
As I'm driving home from class tonight a song came on that transported me right back in time. There I was, sixteen year old me, on a breezy spring day watching my boyfriend clean out his room blasting "Shooting Star" by Bad Company. My gaze fell upon him, outlining his masculine structure, loving every bit of him being mine. In that moment of time, no one could tell me any different. I was going to marry him. I'd probably never leave Bensalem, however, it didn't matter as long as I had him....
(Music brings memories to life so easily for me. Love/hate it.)
If someone were to tell me then I would be a world traveler, I would live in New York City and I'd kiss a thousand frogs before I found my Prince Charming I would have bluntly called them crazy. Ahhh, young love. As a twenty-two year old, I would love to try to tell the young women I know not to take their relationships too seriously or dramatic. However, feeling that pain and then freedom has been the start of my beautiful self discovery. SO maybe everyone needs a little rumble im their well laid plans to birth a fresh start.
Another New Beginning, Or Err Finishing An Old One?
Recently, after a two year hiatus, I decided to go back to college. A week after feeling the urge to be back in class, I was! My goal is to be a journalist, travel the world and write about it. I have a lot of work to do, two more years of classes and a whole lot of busting my ass to get there. This, yet again, new path I've decided to travel down has brought me to several realizations. Not only has being back in college, but the trials and tribulations of my closest friends surfaced "AH HA" moments for me as well.
A few days ago I made a Facebook status saying this:
"Ladies, if you're looking or wanting a boy to fill a void in your heart, simply dig up a dream of yours you have yet to conquer and chase it. There's plenty of time to have babies, get married and live in the same old routine everyday."
Firstly, it didn't just have to be a message for the ladies. Men can certainly relate to this as well. What I meant by that status was simply this. Live life just as you want to. Don't worry about someone loving you because there is someone for everyone and when you're the happiest with yourself that person you're meant to be with will show up at just the right time. All too often we can get caught up in falling in love. (Believe me. I've done this more than most people.) Falling in love is one of the greatest experiences we get as humans. But know this, there's a great BIG HUGE GINORMOUS world out there. It's meant to be discovered by each one of us. We have to leave some kind of imprint upon it for our children and grandchildren to be able to smile about one day. We're always going to be in some sort of debt, we're always going to have priorities to take care of and someone to answer to in some form. Explore every piece of who you are, who you think you might be, or who you want to be now.
Destination: Unknown
Personally, I'm not even close to finding the whole of who I am or what my purpose is. I have this intense craving for seeking everything in life. There's no way I can settle myself down or pretend it's not there. I'm ferociously hungry for life. Some of you may not feel this way. You may be perfectly ready to settle down, which is a whole other beautiful journey in itself. And just because you may have a husband or kids, you shouldn't feel your dreams are unattainable. All I'm saying is, if you have a craving to seek something out, do not stop until it's fulfilled. You sure as hell do not want to wake up one day to screaming kids and a hungry husband wishing you could be somewhere else. I'm going to seek out all of my curiosities so when that time comes, I won't want to be anywhere else in the world.
Ladies or even gentlemen with babies (either planned or unplanned) never feel as though that's the end of your road. Possibilities to life are endless. If anything, your child will forever cherish the courage you had to live your dream. Your children will not only be proud of you, but will be excited to live up to the standard you have set as an example for them.
Destination: South Africa .... Wait, WHAT?!
I get on these little trips of mine where I have these urges to do something. Ninety-five percent of the time I do what ever is thumping in my heart to experience. Just two weeks after taking on the decision to become a full time student at night in addition to already having a full time job, I added a trip to South Africa on my plate. I'll be juggling makeup jobs, weddings, finishing the semester and properly organizing my full time job, bills and life while preparing to go on this trip across the world in June. Danielle, one of my best friends will actually be on the trip with me! We'll be volunteering with elephants, horses, and the safari! The moment I get to be next to an African elephant I may just faint. (The reality of this trip hasn't even hit me yet.) I have no idea how I will financially or emotionally carry this all out, but I have faith in it all working itself out. Call me crazy, cause I just might be! :)
I once had a friend of mine, Erlene, tell me: "Home is home. It will always be there." --- This has always stayed in my mind. I have always been such a homebody. This made me realize I can be anywhere in the world and know where my heart lies. I know I have some place full of "I Love Yous" accompanied by endless hugs and kisses. That will never go away, so why the hell not travel the world! Or down the street or just in the United States or even my own mind. Journeys are not always those trips where we travel great distances. Some of the most profound journeys have been the ones within our hearts and minds.
CHALLENGE: Excepted?
Don't do this for me, but do it for yourself. I'm just probing you to make it happen.
Create a little goal list for yourself for this year. (Thank You Ryan for encouraging me to do mine!)
As crazy as some of the goals may seem, write them down anyway. You will find a way to make things happen for yourself if you truly want them! Look at it everyday or every other day. By thinking about it constantly your desire to acquire it will become intensified and BAM...before you know it it'll be something you can place a check mark next to.
"To achieve the impossible; it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought."
- Tom Robbins
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JUST FOR FUN!
After my last Blog a friend of mine sent me a funny dating story. ENJOY!
Here’s an amusing story! After breaking off my 3 year relationship with my ex, I had NO clue how to go back into the dating world. So, I also joined an online dating site called OKCupid. I met a boy on there that was cute, sweet, and pretty successful for a 22 year old. Our first date went okay. We met up at Fridays, not before embarrassing myself. He called to see if I got out of work, and when we hung up, he ended it with “Okay, can’t wait to meet you. See you there!” My response? “Uhhhh, okay, thanks, see you, okay, thank you, bye.”
Date 2, he invited me to a house party he was having with a few friends. He was nervous about me coming over….he spent the night puking in his sink after consuming too much beer.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt and went on Date 3….and ohhhh boy.
Date 3 we went to see a band he liked at North Star Bar. We get there and we talk some, listen to the openers. Mind you, NO alcohol was consumed. Before the main act comes on, I felt a little weird and light headed, so I went to get a glass of water from the bar, alone. I go up, ask for it…next thing I know I am on the ground. I PASSED OUT. Still don’t know why, must have been too hot in the bar? I am sensitive to heat.
Anyway, I pass out. They pull me onto a chair, and the bartenders are asking me all these questions. I can’t remember this kids name, I am confused, and going in and out of consciousness. They finally get the kids name out of me; they call him from the front of the stage to the back to get me
They start interrogating him now. Asking him if he slipped anything to me, what he knew about me. He had no clue what was going on, and it being our third date, didn't know much information about me.
I hit my head pretty bad so they took me to the Hanneman hospital in an ambulance. He met me there and had to speak to my mom (whom he never met) on the phone about what happened. We sat until about 6 am waiting for the results of the tests they ran. It was kind of awkward.
He drove me home….and I never heard from him again! Nor do I blame him! Probably thought I was some weirdo.
- Caitlin Angelone
